When assessing the viability of your volatile relationship, watch out for thoughts that begin with "If only...".
Even when a relationship is mostly highs, don't minimize the soul and self-wrenching lows.
Don't ignore the advice of your friends and family who are wondering why you keep throwing good money after bad.
Be careful not to confuse the powerful, negative intimacy generated by a conflictual relationship for the kind of love that will meet your needs.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Emotional Baggage
We all have some and a major source is trauma such as loss, betrayal, abuse, assault, etc.
The surge of strong negative emotions in relatively safe and non-threatening circumstances is often an indicator of past trauma.
When these strong feelings are triggered, they come up from our subconscious and into our awareness. While this tension is a normal sign of our psyche working to prevent re-traumatization, it can also cloud our perception.
Therapy can help you let go of emotional baggage and live more in the emotional present than in the emotional past.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Parenting: "How my folks raised me is good enough for my kids".
Adding to our understanding of what is best parenting through reading and a careful look at how we were brought up is not an attack on our parents, how they parented, or how we turned out.
To reject such an exploration is to assume that they knew and that we know all there is to know on the subject and that this is enough.
Parenting is probably the toughest and most important job we'll ever do and while we, as parents, don't bare all the responsibility for how are kids turn out, we do bare the lion's share.
As such, we owe it to our kids and ourselves to always be moving toward the best parenting we can provide. As in any work, this means questioning we the job we're doing and always seeking out and being open to techniques and ideas that might be new to us.
Here are a couple of titles I like:
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391693152&sr=8-1&keywords=parenting+with+love+and+logic+paperback
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1391693152&sr=8-2&keywords=parenting+with+love+and+logic+paperback
To reject such an exploration is to assume that they knew and that we know all there is to know on the subject and that this is enough.
Parenting is probably the toughest and most important job we'll ever do and while we, as parents, don't bare all the responsibility for how are kids turn out, we do bare the lion's share.
As such, we owe it to our kids and ourselves to always be moving toward the best parenting we can provide. As in any work, this means questioning we the job we're doing and always seeking out and being open to techniques and ideas that might be new to us.
Here are a couple of titles I like:
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391693152&sr=8-1&keywords=parenting+with+love+and+logic+paperback
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1391693152&sr=8-2&keywords=parenting+with+love+and+logic+paperback
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