A Happy Thanksgiving Weekend Recipe

With your partner, project yourself to Monday; imagine looking back at the weekend and feeling quite satisfied with how it went.
Then, you each identify two or three things that would have happened between you (frame them in the positive) that would likely lead to this good feeling.
Next, you explore and plan for the inclusion of these items.
Advisory: If you imbibe, do it in moderation. More warmth and joy will come from your family, whether you usually get on with them, or not.

Love is…

Keeping the positive ball rolling even when your partner is having trouble doing the same.

Your relationship A-game.

Do you drop your relationship A-game as soon as your partner drops theirs?
It's crucial that your best effort not be overly contingent on the quality of your partner's contribution, no matter how tempting.
Remember, it's not just about this week. Keep the long haul in mind.

Our Defenses

We're born defenseless and trusting. Our guard is down, because we don't have one.
Our parents do their best with what they have, but, due their own childhood wounds, they might wound us and sometimes wound us often.
In these environments our doubts and defenses are born and develop to protect us and keep us intact.

Do you text through conflicts with your partner?
Dealing with conflict productively is a big challenge, but trying to do it via text is a good way to just end up throwing another log on that fire.
And if you're driving, too…OMG!

Pornography food for thought.

Watching something like a video has a hypnotic effect. And habitually training yourself to be in this kind of trance makes it less likely that you will be able to tune in to a real-life partner’s experience in the moment during sexual relating.”

Maltz, Wendy; Maltz, Larry (2009-10-13). The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography (p. 83). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

What do our kids learn as they observe our relationships with food and alcohol?

What's the difference between the male ego and the female ego, if any?

I believe we all want the intimacy and acceptance that comes with a mutual abandonment of our defenses.

To determine the impact of alcohol on your love life, remove it from the relational system for one month and see what you see.